I've changed. Over the time, things happen, your life changes, something new is added into it, and it's not really about saying no or yes to that change. You really can't say no to change can you? So the only way..i guess, is to accept..to view it from another view.

I once thought, love, was the world's most important thing. I don't mean family/friends love, but crush/likes/lovers kinda love. It was like.. they're the 'only' thing that makes us happy. And when i lost it, i was lost. Completely, totally, didn't know what was gonna happen. As i thought my 'happy' was gone. And how? Why? What should i do? These questions start popping out. Yeah, i cried, definitely. But then, time passed, although it was hard, there were flashbacks time to time, but it did. It faded,not completely, but abit. I tried, i started doing different things. My life started to change. I started going back to the past, i started reflecting on myself, on things, on mistakes and i found faults, flaws, new stuff that i won't bother finding last time. I realised my mistakes, i learnt how immature i was, how i took things for granted, how i failed. Then, i made a promise, a promise to myself, that.. regrets are there for a reason. Regrets ain't necessary a bad thing. It makes you improve on things, saying 'it is too late' will not help at all. Doing things, actions, is all that matters. So i told myself, if i ever had the chance again, i'd never let it go, i'd cherish, i'd not ever take things for granted.

A few months passed, i got up, got up by the help of friends and family. And there, another lesson taught. If love (crush kind) leaves you, is it the end of the world? If it is, wouldn't your life be pathetic? And so, i started seeing things differently. My friends, my family, they pulled me back, esp my family. I started to really enjoy the times spent with them. And i find myself smiling unconsciously. It may not be that kind of 'happiness' i've experienced before. But, life isn't just about one thing right?

Again, another unexpected twist happened, things changed once again. Like the miracle i've always wished for but never dared believe, happened. I've got the chance to make up to my regrets. I've got the chance to say the words i've been afraid to say before. I took risks, i took chances. But once again, nothing's perfect, nothing's constant. Everything breaks.

Yeah, once again, another sad phase of life. You found out something, it broke you totally, you cried till your eyes are swollen. But then, you think, you ask yourself, 'is it really worth?'. Does it really matter? Love, bgr, at our age, does it really last? Crushes, does it really make up to a huge part of our life?

"Would you rather have a boyfriend or a guy best friend?"

I've learn that, all those won't last. Relationships won't, no matter how much feelings you had from the start, no matter how insanely in love you were back then, one day, something would happen, something would make it break. So, is it really worth? Is the lover kinda love a bigger scale as compared to friends' & family's love?

Well, i've understood, i've changed.

Being a very very good friend to you, definitely worth more. Everyone wants to change something. But what if you can't change it? Well, then it's time for you to change your thinking.

If the love was the cause of your pain, maybe it's not meant to be then. Maybe it's just the missing, the desire of the past that causes you yourself to hurt. So, what's the point?