Oh great, i can't make it, i can't go to my primary school bbq. ah.

How do i explain something i can't even define it myself.

How do i comprehend to this which i don't know.

How can i solve it, clear it, if i don't know what's the 'it'.

I'm like seriously on a damn roller coaster ride. Sometimes i went up, sometimes i plunge down at high speed. Sometimes i pass the 360 degrees turn, and i'm upside down. Sometimes i'm at top, sometimes i'm at the bottom. I'm really getting crazy, from the screaming when going on high speed, falling down, going up. Heart skipping beats when i plunge down, like "Woah". So how do I end this crazy ride?

I want to release it all out. I want to run like some crazy chiongster, scream, walk aimlessly. Sweat, feel all red, just..

Normally this feeling pass quite quickly. But this time round, it doesn't seem the case.

I want myself back. But who am i?

I want to go back to the age where i was so carefree. When I knew nothing except playing. But obviously it's impossible.